Saying Goodbye and Finding Comfort

Most people move away from home when they first go to college. I spent my first year in a dorm, then primarily lived with my parents until I made the move to Arizona. That being said, I think it is safe to assume that I have never really been away from home. I wish I could attribute this to my Eastern European culture, but sadly, the reason I lived at home for so long was that living on your own in Minnesota is EXPENSIVE. Actually, living on your own anywhere is expensive. Although I had a decent paying job, my student loan payments were almost as much as renting or owning a home. If it weren't for doctorate loans, I wouldn't be able to live in the place I live in now. Anyway, more on expenses in another post.

Saying goodbye to my dad was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I am exceptionally close to my dad, and the thought of him leaving last Sunday morning shattered my heart. I broke down Saturday night when I looked my dad straight in the eye and sobbed, "I want to go HOME!" Only, this was my home now. I knew I would have to get used to being on my own if I was ever going to be successful in vet school. Still, watching my dad leave tore my heart right out of my chest.

Each day gets easier, I have to admit. But I still find myself in moments of extreme melancholy. Fortunately, we are in the days of iPhones, and I can call/text/FaceTime my dad any time I need. That is comforting to me. I found more comfort as I was unpacking after my dad had left, I was going through old birthday cards and bits and bobs I chose to keep over the years. In one birthday card, my dad had written, "Love You, Dad" which was somewhat unique because he usually just signs "Dad" rather than writing anything else. It was written so beautifully, and I found comfort in having his handwriting close. Plus, he never says "I love you" but always "Love you", both in text and verbally.

So, this past Friday I went to a tattoo shop and put my dad's writing on permanently. I cannot even describe the joy I feel when I look at this piece. It is so beautiful and comforting and  I had wanted a tattoo for my dad since I was in my late teens.

Sinful Skin Tattoo in Glendale. I saw Aaron, and he was great!

He was able to photocopy the exact writing and use it as a stencil. This is my dad's actual writing, not the artist's tracing.

I absolutely love the placement of this tattoo! (Biggie does too)

Close-up of the image

The next morning- so in LOVE with it!

My dad's reaction. Priceless!

This was only the first step in beginning to settle in and really find myself as a person. I am happy that the first step was a large one, and one that I will be able to remember forever. Now I have to get my dad to get a tattoo!