Winding Down

It's the Friday evening before finals, and I have to say, this has been a rough quarter, but it is easier than last year in a way. I definitely am enjoying classes more, because they are simply more interesting to me. The hardest thing about this quarter is that the days are long, and with length comes exhaustion. Surgery definitely is exciting, but contributes most to the fatigue. Being at the clinic checking on patients at 7am before classes, a brief half hour lunch, then two to three hour surgical procedures, followed by SOAP writing, and finally getting home around 5 or 6pm, only to have to study is brutal some days. But I am grateful to have the opportunity to even do solo surgery in my second year. I'm nonetheless very thrilled to know that in 7 days I will have a break. I'm looking forward to delving into some reading for pleasure and deep cleaning my apartment. Ah, adulting.
               

                                          

                                                             Sonja came to help with cardio lab (no murmurs here!)

She was a hit with everyone!

         

We finally got to do some large animal medicine between learning about a million different bacteria and drugs. Here's a clip of me demonstrating drawing blood from Belle's tail vein. My cat bite was still relatively fresh, so I needed help with the tail jack from one of our faculty veterinarians.


In addition to being swamped with surgeries, classes, and studying, I've also been more active in clubs at school. This year I am a member of SAVMA (Student Chapter of the American Veterinary Medical Association), SCAAEP (Student Chapter of the American Association of Equine Practitioners), and SCAABP (Student Chapter of the American Association of Bovine Practitioners).

Palpation lab. Sarah with Rose, and myself with Tulip

We have done some awesome events, including a radiology event where we practiced taking radiographs of some of our horses, and bovine palpation labs. I'm super bummed that I won't get to attend the conventions this year (I can't afford the airfare and hotel. Should have worked over the summer!), but at least I am having fun doing stuff with our clubs!

Rose adores Sarah.

To end this post, I'd like to introduce you to one of our school's cows. This is Rose, and she is a beautiful Holstein cow, and a favorite among the students. She came from a local dairy, and is enjoying her retirement helping us learn about bovine medicine. When not showing us students the dairy cow way of life, she can typically be found napping under the awning with a fan.

                                       

Jaws of Life

This week I got to be the assistant surgeon for a little boy cat's neuter. Things didn't exactly go as planned...

Darryl (names have been changed to protect the innocent, and not-so-innocent) is a one year old little boy cat with quite the personality. He's small for his age, but has the purr of a lion. His physical exam went well, and I was excited to have another surgery under my belt.

One of my least favorite parts of veterinary medicine is having to draw blood and give injections to animals. I don't like to put any animal in pain, but I know that it is only to help them. Darryl was such a trooper for his blood draw. Pre-anesthetic medications, however, would be an entirely different story.

Premeds are given as an IM injection, which is more painful than just giving an injection subcutaneously, like most vaccines are given. In addition, the premeds can sting as they go into the muscle. As the anesthetist gave Darryl his injection, I was holding him, and he decided he needed a stick to bite on. That stick was my hand. Poor Darryl latched on and wouldn't let go. Poor kitty.

After I pried him off my hand, I had to report my injury to our faculty surgeon and fill out an incident report. Bites are part of veterinary medicine. It will happen to everyone, eventually. The thing with cat bites, is that they can be incredibly dangerous. Cats have very sharp canine teeth because they are carnivores and need to eat meat. Darryl, being a year old, had all of his adult teeth, which are stronger than kitten teeth. On top of having razor sharp teeth, cats also carry a significant amount of bacteria in their saliva, which can cause serious problems if the wound is not cleaned immediately.

I made the decision to clean out my wound, bandage it the best I could, and scrub in for surgery. I wanted to follow my patient through, and figured that a surgical scrub would  clean the wound fairly well until I could get to a clinic. (NOTE: our faculty recommends that all students seek medical attention right away for any injuries sustained at school.)

Darryl's surgery went very smoothly, and he recovered well. I went to the clinic and got some antibiotics to prevent any infections in my hand. By this point, my hand had two very deep puncture wounds, and two shallow punctures. It had swelled significantly, and was painful, but looked okay considering.

The next day, my hand throbbed most of the day, and I could barely concentrate on classes. By evening, the swelling had doubled and the entire hand was red, sore, and radiating heat and pain all the way to my elbow. After texting photos to my human hospital friends back in Minnesota, I was convinced I better go in and have the wound looked at again. Fortunately, the doctor said it looked like it was healing. However, my kitty friend shredded the sheath around the tendon, creating what is called tenosynovitis, which was why my arm was so painful.

It has been a few days and I still cannot use my hand very well, but I am hopeful that I will be back to 100% soon, and am looking forward to being the anesthetist for my patient next week!

Five hours post attack

The infection spreads

The important lesson to take away from this story is that animals come to you, and they may be scared or hurting. Their only defense is to bite or scratch, and it is something we veterinarians need to anticipate and prepare for. I should have been holding Darryl with his mouth away from my hand. This is definitely not the first bite, nor the last. But I learned a valuable lesson in this weeks lab.

Going Solo-Primary Surgeon

So last week was a huge milestone in my veterinary career-solo surgery. I suppose I can't really call it "solo" since I had two amazing teammates as my assistant and anesthetist, but it was my first surgery without a veterinarian walking me through the procedure.

My patient was a little boy cat named Minnow from a local rescue here in Arizona. All of our surgery patients come from shelters and rescues, and it is incredible that we get to be a part of helping these animals in their journeys to forever homes.

The patients arrived at the hospital the day before their scheduled surgeries. As primary surgeon, my role was to examine my patient and draw blood to make sure he was able to undergo anesthesia. It is important that any patient that undergoes surgery is healthy, because surgery could make them even more sick if they have any pre-existing conditions. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately for him, Minnow was healthy and ready for surgery!

The day of surgery, I think I expected to feel more nervous than I did. I actually felt more excited than anything else. The first surgeries are expected to be stressful, but I was ready to go!

I have to say, we have some of the most amazing veterinarians and veterinary technicians on hand. Everyone was so friendly and they went out of their way to help us. They really made the entire afternoon run smoothly and gave us all such confidence in the surgery suite. One of the adjunct faculty checked in on my surgery, and even gave me some smaller tools to work with since Minnow was just a kitten.

Overall, the procedure went really well, and Minnow handled anesthesia perfectly. He didn't even need any extra pain medication, which made me feel like I did a great neuter.

The worst part of surgery is definitely the paperwork! But it is incredibly important to make sure that each patient has a detailed medical record and report anything that happens with the patient throughout his or her stay in the hospital. I was grateful to have my assistant and anesthetist there to help remember all of the details we needed to include in the report. I handed over care to the overnight technician, and ventured home for some much needed rest!

The next morning, I went to the hospital bright and early to find Minnow happy, healthy, and ready to play. He didn't act like he was in any pain, and was eager to eat his breakfast. I did one last physical exam, which he passed with flying colors, and said goodbye to my first neuter patient. There will be many more, but I will never forget Minnow.

UPDATE: We are no longer allowed to post photos of our patients, despite them being adoptable animals. I am so sorry for the inconvenience, and I will try to take interesting non-patient photos for future posts...

Sincerest Apologies

First of all, I need to make an apology for being unproductive with this blog over the summer. I went home to Minnesota, which should have been the happiest thing in my life, but I faced tragedy shortly after arriving home.

As you know, I am an avid greyhound lover. I had two Italian Greyhounds that are my entire world, and they are my children. However, I had to put sweet baby Georgia to sleep over the summer. I wanted to blog about it, but I don't think I was emotionally ready to face that. But I realize that I need to move forward and I need to continue sharing my journey, and to do that I need to share Georgia's story.

As a little girl, I used to watch the dog shows on television with my family. I'm not sure when my obsession with greyhounds (and sighthounds in general) began, but for as long as I can remember, I have wanted a greyhound. During my senior year of college, my parents were planning to adopt a greyhound for me as a graduation present. Shortly before graduation, I took a trip with my best friend Jeni to Texas for a long weekend. One afternoon my mom called and asked me, "what would you name an Italian Greyhound?" and I replied, "Boy or girl?" and when my mom said a girl, I instantly said, "Georgia!" When I arrived home from Texas, there was a little fawn colored Italian Greyhound on my bed. She jumped into my arms, and we were instantly bonded. About a year or two later, I adopted another iggy from the Animal Humane Society, and the two dogs became inseparable.

Fast forward about six years to when we moved to Arizona. As you may know, I had problems with the tenant living above me in my apartment complex. He did not like my dogs, for whenever he made noise, they would bark. Now this was never when I was home, and it was never early in the morning or the middle of the night. Things got so bad, that this man began yelling through the window at my dogs. He often would stand outside the window and look into my window and tease the dogs, enticing them to bark at him, so he could yell. Once, I caught him parked outside in a car looking through my windows. I eventually took cardboard boxes and covered all of the windows in the apartment. His threats to the dogs continued, and I grew fearful for their safety, as well as my own. I knew I needed to get out of that place, but the apartment manager said I needed $1600, plus an additional two months of rent in order to break the lease. I was living off student loans at the time, so I wasn't able to pay the money right away.

One day, I was sitting on the couch studying and Georgia began to vomit. Now, Georgia has always been an easy vomiter. She eats fast, and often regurgitates her food, usually in my bed! But this time was different. Not only was she violently retching, she was vomiting large amounts of bile and food. After about four large vomits, she collapsed onto the couch. I immediately called the vet clinic and they said to bring her in right away. She had gotten so dehydrated that they had to give her IV fluids and anti-nausea drugs to keep her from continuing to vomit. They took blood and urine,and found that her kidney and liver values were really high. They also found three different species of bacteria, and on ultrasound, found that her liver was slightly enlarged. This was in October, and Georgia remained on antibiotics until January to clear up the infection. Meanwhile, I moved to a new apartment where I finally began to relax and feel safe.

Shortly after Georgia finished her course of antibiotics, I began noticing neurological changes in her. She would wander around the apartment as though she were lost. She didn't respond to her name, and her eyes were very dilated and glazed over. She would try to jump onto the bed and would often fall off. The vet attributed this to potentially cognitive dysfunction, as we could not find anything significant without an MRI. Because the MRI cost several thousand dollars, I knew it would take me some time to save up the money. Her symptoms continued to get worse, and by the time we went home to Minnesota for summer, Georgia was a completely different dog.

I thought that being home would make her more comfortable, which it did, for a little while. Eventually, her symptoms were so severe that I was up most of the night trying to comfort her and calm her down. Her weight was down to about 9 lbs, and she wasn't eating much because she was so busy pacing and shaking. She had been chewing through phone cords and lamp cords, and each time had to have been electrocuting herself, but still could not stop.

She was suffering. It was no longer Georgia inside of that body. It wasn't fair to let her carry on like that. On July 10th, I made the heartbreaking decision to let her go. I made the appointment for the next day, so we could have one last night to visit my mom up north and spend some time with her second favorite person, my dad. On the way to my mom's house, Georgia started to go crazy. She began tearing up the back seat and chewing on anything she could get into her mouth. She bit her tongue and began bleeding profusely. Sobbing, I knew we couldn't wait any longer. I drove to the vet's office.

After that, I felt that I needed more answers, so I took her body to the University of Minnesota for a necropsy. After an agonizing wait, the results came in. They found no evidence of cognitive dysfunction. However, her liver had basically rotted inside of her. The top differentials for the state of her liver were leptospirosis and toxic poisoning. Georgia had been vaccinated every year consistently for lepto, so it had to have been a toxin. Instantly, my heart dropped. Whatever had been going on in October was the first signs of her poisoning.

I still to this day believe it was that man that poisoned her, and I will never stop believing that. I blame myself for what happened to her. I was supposed to protect her, and I didn't. She died because I didn't get away from that man. She was 8 years old.

My only comfort in all of this was that she got to go home to die. She loved Minnesota as much as I do, and it was only fitting that I leave her there to rest peacefully.

I hope you can forgive me for not posting. I needed some time to heal. I will be back soon, I promise.

At the doctor

Wasted away to nothing

She loved her Grampa

The moment I knew it was time

Our Final Goodbye

The following are some of my favorite photos of Georgia. I hope they bring you as much joy as they do me.

Debt

One of the most frequently asked questions vet students get from new applicants is "How are you paying for school?" They tend to follow up this question by explaining that they are reluctant to go to school because of the large amount of debt students acquire. By saying this is a loaded question would be an understatement. The following commentary is my own opinion, and in no way reflects the opinions of other students. That being said, what I am going to advise and write next may be inappropriate for viewers that are easily offended. Continue reading at your own risk.

If I'm honest, it really irritates me when applicants reveal that they are questioning going to vet school. First of all, you have already put in so much work to get this far. You've taken the classes, studied the material, volunteered and worked with animals, and you just now decide to look at the debt-to-income ratio? That's just plain irresponsible and negligence. You should look at all aspects before you even decide to start pursuing a career.

Secondly, if you are not certain that this is the right decision for you, DON'T APPLY. Veterinary Medicine is an incredibly competitive field, and people that aren't completely ready to commit to taking on the debt that comes with the degree are selfish. When you apply, you are compared to every other applicant. There may be someone who truly wants this, and is prepared to face the debt, but their grades might be lower than someone who decides at the last minute to question their decision. More often than not, the student with the higher grades is going to be picked. By questioning your decision, you take that chance away from someone that really wants it, and probably deserves it more than you do.

Lastly, if you are looking for a career to make money, this career is not for you. Don't waste your time. Veterinarians do not make half of what pharmacists or physicians make. Plus, medical school is easier to get into. Go there if you want to make money. But truly, if you aren't prepared to take a position that you LOVE, regardless of the income, then you should probably reconsider your ambitions. Veterinarians have a lot of debt. It is what it is, and it isn't a big deal. There are resources to help you manage your loan payments, and programs to alleviate the amount of debt in the long run.

If becoming a veterinarian is something that you truly want to do, then the money ought not to matter.

That's my two cents. Take it as you will.

Big Animals and Big Heartache

The past two weeks have been some of the widest-in-range when it comes to my emotions. In addition to being exhausted from studying (I failed a physiology exam, and really need to step up my game in that class), I've been ridiculously happy, and horribly heartbroken all within a span of about two weeks.

One of the best experiences I have had in labs thus far has been being able to actually interact with live animals. This week, we were able to learn from both horses and cows, two animals I want to work with as a veterinarian. Midwestern is unique in that it is one of the few schools in the US that currently have models called Haptic Cow and Haptic Horse. These plastic models allow users to experience a virtual reproductive or digestive tract, without having to palpate a live animal. I personally found these to be super cool, but if I am honest, it was actually harder to figure out what things felt like in the virtual world versus actually being inside the animal. However, the faculty was so helpful in guiding us, and it was a great tool to map out where structures should be in the tract. My favorite feature was that you could feel for an aortic pulse, and you actually felt a heartbeat from within the model. I forgot to take any photos of the haptic devices, but you can read more about these tools here.

The school isn't currently set up to allow equine palpation, but they have a plastic model horse with blow-up organs that can be adjusted to mimic colic, impaction, or displacements. We were able to palpate what each of these things felt like, and learn the overall anatomy of the digestive system. In addition, we were able to ultrasound our live horses legs to see their tendons, which was very cool.

Our model (looks like she can skate!)

                                         

In we go...

Sometimes it's hard to figure out what you are feeling! (This is my, "what the heck is that?!" face)

Christine and me with Tank

When you go to vet school, there are several "Rites of Passage" that you will have to go through. One of the messiest (although most fun) is bovine palpation lab. It is important for all veterinarians to know how to perform a basic physical exam on any animal that may come to their clinic. Part of a cow's physical is rectal palpation. I personally want to work with farm animals and small animals, so I was especially excited to learn the technique. While some of my classmates were less than enthusiastic, we all had a fun time with the girls. We have 8 Holsteins and 3 Jersey cows currently at Midwestern, and they each have their own personality. Phyllis is probably the sassiest cow, and she will poo the entire palpation, as I found out very quickly. But hey, it's all part of the experience! My favorite cow, Rose, even look the liberty of peeing on me to show her appreciation! Thanks, Rose!

Go big or go home! Brittany settled for the smaller Jersey

All in a day's work. 

The life of a large animal vet!

Palpating cows was so much fun, and I was surprised at how much easier it was to identify structures the second time around. The first time I practiced palpation, everything felt like poo. This time, I identified cervix, uterine horns, aorta, kidney, rumen, and even an ovary with a corpus luteum! We also got to watch one of our vets administer a lumbosacral epidural, which vets give to cows that are having a hard time calving, or have a prolapse. Did you know that veterinarians perform C-sections on cows while they are standing up? Pretty amazing! 

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I experienced some sadness this week. Now, I am a Minnesota girl, born and raised. I am incredibly proud of my home state, and one thing about Minnesotans is that we have a real sense of community and family for our celebrities. Yesterday, April 21, 2016, I was taking a brief moment to browse Twitter in anesthesia lecture (future vet students, try not to do that), and I saw that Prince had passed away. I immediately texted my dad and asked him to keep me updated. 

My family knows that as a dancer and a Minnesotan, I absolutely adore Prince. I remember attending a show at his club (First Avenue) and I looked over, and saw Prince standing there. I kid you not, it was almost God-like seeing him in person (by the way, he is very short, and even more beautiful in person). 

It was a sad day for Minnesota. Seeing all of the pictures and videos of people flocking to Paisley Park (Prince's home) and First Ave made me miss home more than ever. The outpouring of love from Minnesotans, and even non-residents, warmed my heart. Prince's family even gave pizza to those bringing flowers to Paisley. I will for sure return to Minnesota and visit these places to pay my respects.

As a little extra for this post, I'd like to share my top 3 (technically 4) Prince songs with you. Because you can't be a Minnesotan and dislike Prince!

#3. Raspberry Beret.

I used to listen to this song almost every day walking to class at the University of Minnesota. Listening to it now brings back memories of college, and genuinely just makes me feel happy.

#2. When Doves Cry. 

This is a classic Prince song. With its soulful lyrics, this song reaches right into your core. All the feels. Fun fact, this song lacks a bass line, which was a unique feature for music at the time of its release. In addition to vocals, Prince played all the instruments in this song.

#1.5 P Control.

One of the rare Prince songs, I was introduced to this song by one of my best friends while we were working nights at the hospital. I won't tell you what the P stands for, but go ahead and look up this song. It is the ultimate feminist anthem, and I really enjoy it.

#1. Kiss.

I don't know if it is the song or the music video I adore more, but I have vivid memories of dancing around my house/dorm/apartment to this on repeat. It has been my favorite Prince song for years, and it is excellent to sing while in the shower or tub ala Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman."

Rest Peacefully, Sweet Prince. 

Social Media

Hi! You can now follow Ventures in Vet School on Instagram and Twitter! Also, you can follow my class on Instagram now too!

Twitter: @venturesincvm

Instagram: venturesinvetschool

Midwestern CVM 2019: mwuvetmed2019

Holy Cow!

It is hard to believe I am half way through my final quarter of first year. I've been in Arizona for nine months, and they have flown by! I'm so excited to finish first year and see what second year will be like. I'm most excited/nervous for pharmacology. I hope that I can do well with my background in human pharmacy.

One of the most surprising things about my first year is that I've discovered my love for large animal medicine. We had our first bovine labs, and continued with physical exams on horses. After only two sessions, I decided that pursuing a mixed track is something I would like to do. Being from rural Minnesota, I think it will be good to have skills in both large and small animal since there are not many large animal veterinarians out there.

This is Ellen. She was not happy about being in the chute!

Gonna have to get used to cow slime...Thanks Ellen

                                         

• Tightening the halter...

Tying for venipuncture.

                                 

Scout helped us in our equine lab

                                       
A few of my classmates and I had the opportunity to volunteer at an alumni picnic for the DO and Pharmacy programs. The event was held at the bovine/equine center, and I had an amazing time giving the alumni tours of the facilities and speaking about the College of Veterinary Medicine. I am looking forward to volunteering at similar events soon!

Volunteering in the sunshine!

                               
In addition to working with cows for the first time, I also got to shadow the second year students in the surgery suite. It is amazing to see what they can do, and I almost can't believe that in less than a year, I will be doing the same!

Surgery was awesome! Special thanks to Danielle (second from right) for making our caps!

 I am still pretty sure I want to move back to Minnesota after graduation, but I do have to admit that Arizona has some funny little creatures. These three geckos hang out on my balcony every night!

They didn't get me a discount on insurance...

                                           Stay tuned for more ventures in vet school!

It's not just puppies and kittens. Vet School Realities

A lot of people think that being a veterinarian means we get to cuddle cute puppies and play with adorable kittens all day, and maybe use the stethoscope once in awhile. Vet students know this couldn't be further from the truth.

The same goes for vet school.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. But what I didn't know was that the difficult part for me would be the social aspect of school.

Disclaimer: These are all my own opinions and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or views of anyone else in vet school.

Vet school, as I have discovered, is really a strange version of high school. Only everyone is nerdy, just in different ways. What I mean is that the number of "cliques" is astonishing to me, and the maturity level of the students in vet school is less than admirable.

I'm not perfect. I definitely have negativity spewing from me at times, and I definitely have no desire to spend time with certain classmates outside of school. However, being a true Minnesotan, I try to exude a little something known as "Minnesota Nice." I try to be polite and respectful to everyone, but there are times when I'm known to throw a bit of shade.

The thing is, cliques aren't bad. It wouldn't make sense to hang out with people that don't share your interests, because you wouldn't enjoy yourself. But the way you treat people outside of your own niche says a lot about you as a person.

The main cliques in vet school are: food animal people, horse, people, and small animal people. I began vet school primarily as a small animal person, but with the growing need for large animal veterinarians at home, I've been drawn more to wanting to learn as much as I can about food animal medicine. The problem is, there is a lot of animosity between the "cliques" and more than once I have heard comments made that seem to put down anyone who wants to try to break the boundaries of the clique.

The thing is, we are all paying for the same education. Shouldn't we all be entitled to the same opportunities to learn? I pay tuition too, and I deserve the chance to experience all that I can get. I would love to see the day when students begin to reach out to each other and offer to help by using their knowledge to teach those who are eager to learn.

If you are someone who feels passionately about your specific area of interest, please don't frown upon those that want to learn your passion too. Honestly, that is just selfish. And also, it is just plain rude. Take a moment to check your pride and step back. These people will be your colleagues, and we will all be working towards the same goal. Stop competing and stop being selfish, and frankly, just shut up and let people be.

Okay, now that I have aired my grievances regarding cliques, let me discuss the lack of maturity among vet students.

I'm one of the older students in my class. I spent a few years after graduation teaching and working in a hospital. I don't know if it is because there are so many students that are fresh out of undergrad, and they haven't had much life experience outside of school, or what, but not a day goes by that I don't shake my head at something I see or hear in class.

I want this post to be somewhat helpful, rather than just informative, so I've compiled a list of helpful hints to help future vet students prepare for a professional program.

1. Don't interrupt your professor.
Yes, I am sure you will have dozens of questions or comments, but before you shout out in class, ask yourself whether your question will be beneficial to the rest of the students. If it isn't relevant to the current lecture topic, write it down and ask your professor later. There isn't a lot of extra time for professors to answer several questions. So unless you need clarification on something, save it for after class. Similarly, wait for your professor to finish his/her point. They may answer your question, so let them finish the slide before asking questions.

2. Dress appropriately.
Ladies, I am all about expressing yourself and dressing however you want to. Unfortunately, we are students representing our program at our schools, and we need to respect their dress code. If the handbook says business casual, please don't wear inappropriate clothing. Make sure your skirts are a decent length. Wear those short ones outside of class!  And men, you need to keep it classy too.

3. Don't come late
Seriously, everyone notices when you walk into class ten minutes late. We hear the door slam, and we see you climbing over classmates to get to your spot, and the professors see it too. If you are going to be late, be quiet. Close the door softly, sit in the back, and take the time to email your professor and apologize for your tardiness. A simple courtesy goes a long way.

4. Don't leave early.
I don't care if class ended three minutes ago; if the professor is still speaking, sit there and listen. If you are in vet school, chances are you have the exact same schedule as everyone else in that room, so you don't need to rush to be anywhere. Give your professors the time to finish what they have to say, especially if your professor was kind enough to stop and answer your unrelated questions. What they have to say is probably important.

and finally,
5. Silence your freaking phone.
It's not like cell phones just came out. Learn to use it.

Motivation

There are moments throughout vet school that will make you question what you were thinking when you decided to embark on this doctoral journey. Most of these moments will occur around exam time, and it can be hard to stay motivated to study sometimes. When I get stressed, I either throw myself completely into my work, or shut down completely. This week, I'm on the verge of shutting down. All because of a class called Veterinary Physiology. Specifically, neurophysiology.

I can assure you, I did not get into vet school based solely on my grades. Although I am smart, I am not a test taker. I am only recently learning to keep myself calm during exams and am beginning to see higher marks. That being said, I tend to be okay with getting lower exam grades, because I know the material, regardless of what score I receive. However, there are some subjects that will never be easy for me to understand, and one of these is neurophysiology. Honestly, physiology in general is difficult for me. There are so many details, and it is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that all of these things occur inside the body system.

It is incredibly difficult not to compare myself to other students. Especially those that do so well. Needless to say, I tend to be really hard on myself and that sometimes leads me down a very dark path into a negative mindset. By the time I am ready to shut down, it is hard to pull myself up and motivate myself to keep going. Add in personal stresses outside of vet school, and it is a royal recipe for disaster.

I've made a list of things that help keep me going when these moods hit. I hope that you find them helpful too.

1. Remember you aren't alone.

This sounds easier said than done, but chances are, in a class of 100 students, there is at least one or more students that are feeling the same way you are. The thing about vet school is that we aren't competing anymore. We've all made it and we are all going to be doctors. We are a family and we have to support each other. Of course there are going to be people you don't get along with, and there are always cliques, but for the most part, your classmates are there to support you and help you through whatever situation you are going through. Reach out to your classmates. It will help.

2. Read the SDN forums for your incoming class

I've been following the newest applicants for next year at Midwestern and Minnesota on Student Doctor Network, and one of the things that really makes me feel happy is reading posts by newly accepted students. It brings me back to when I was first accepted, and how excited I was. There is also a real sense of humbleness in reading these posts as well, because I read the posts from rejected students, and I realize (again) how blessed I am to be here, even if it is hard at the moment. We were chosen to our programs for a reason, and for each accepted student, there's several that had to be turned away. It is important to never take this opportunity for granted, because there are people that would give anything to be in our position. (no matter how miserable we may be at the moment!)

3. Call your family

Besides your vet school family, remember your loved ones. Moving out of Minnesota was the hardest thing I have ever done, and my heart breaks every day when I think about how far away from my family I am. But I know that even from afar, they are there for me and will always be there to cheer me up and tell me I can do it. I make everyone send me pictures of home, and it makes me happy knowing that in a few short years I will be able to go home again.

4. Practice self-care

No matter how stressed you are, or how many lectures you feel like you will never get through, it is vital to take care of yourself first. I refuse to sacrifice sleep while I am in school. Mainly because I am prone to crankiness and mid-lecture narcolepsy, but also because I cannot function if I am tired. My brain will remember every song lyric from early 90s songs, but I won't be able to distinguish a vein from an artery. It is important to sleep well, but also to eat well while in school. By nourishing your brain, you will feel less tired and be less likely to get sick if you are getting all your vitamins and minerals. I can tell when I am lacking protein, for example, and I will take an extra half an hour to cook some meat and make a good meal for myself. It is also important to get exercise. This boosts your mood, and helps keep your body fit and healthy. I like to hit up the gym at my apartment and do a little cardio and lift some weights. I also make sure to stretch really well every day, because stretching makes me feel lean and strong. I also am a huge advocate for bubble baths. Once or twice a week (sometimes more), I like to draw a hot bath and spend an hour relaxing and listening to music. Sometimes I bring my notes in and study a little bit, but most of the time I listen to music and surf the web. I also take a couple hours a week to just relax in front of the TV. Now I know that this seems like a lot of hours in the week that I am giving up to relax rather than study, but whenever I skip these self-care tasks, I find myself feeling horrible and upset. I would rather take a few hours for myself and be happy than have perfect grades.

5. Remember why you started

Time for a little tough love. WE CHOSE THIS. We came into this program knowing that it was going to be hard. But, of course, that doesn't make our tough moments less justified. You are allowed to feel upset and sad and angry even. It's okay. But try to remember why you started in the first place. I love animals, and I want to take care of them as their doctor. And that is sometimes all the motivation I need to keep going.

Hell Week Survival

Today marks the end of what the CVM class of 2019 dubbed "Hell Week." It consisted of three exams, two simulations, four writing assignments, an interview, and, if you were proactive, a pathology assignment/quiz and a nutritional analysis. Now, I am sure that there are plenty of vet schools that have multiple exams in one week, and probably even multiple exams in one day. However, the thing to consider in relation to the program I am in is that we are a quarter system. We ideally fit 16 weeks worth of material into 8, which means we have a LOT of information to handle. It isn't unbearable (most of the time), but it does take a toll on your brain, let alone your emotions. I know I am stressed to the max because I have an eruption of breakouts across my face, and I haven't eaten a decent meal or been to the gym in over a week. I'm honestly surprised I've showered this week. But I made it, give or take a couple embarrassing moments, which I will share with you now.

1. During the anatomy exam, I made the mistake of confusing tears (from lacrimal glands) with cerebrospinal fluid (in the brain). Whoops...

2. By the time I got to the practical, I couldn't remember arteries from nerves. All I was thinking about was the nap I could take when the exam was over.

3. I was typing a post-simulation assignment shortly after the anatomy exam and was very clearly falling asleep and entering strange levels of consciousness. At one point I actually wrote something about underwear. (I think I meant to type something about helping the client to understand, but Lord knows where I was going with that or how I got to underwear...)

4. The afternoon before the exam, I slammed two energy drinks and STILL managed to fall asleep over my notes for a couple hours. The struggle was real, guys.


 Note to self: the crash from several b12 tablets chased with alertness beverages is rough.

Although this week was hell, I wouldn't change this experience for anything. I am so blessed to be here, and I never want to take this opportunity for granted. As horribly stressful as this week was, and despite all of my studying, I didn't perform as well as I wanted to. Initially, I was really upset. I felt that I had spent days of my life studying and trying to understand this material, and I couldn't pull off an A. But something one of my professors said this week hit me. He said, "What do you call the person that graduates academically last from veterinary college?"

The answer is Doctor.

We are given this opportunity to become doctors, and only a very small portion of that is based on academics. The skills we need outside of textbooks are just as important to becoming great veterinarians. Fortunately, I think I have that portion of this program under my belt, so I try very hard not to let the lower grades bring me down. As long as I do the very best I can, that is all I can ask for. Some people learn in different ways, and some people take longer to understand things. Just because I can't regurgitate information for an exam doesn't mean that I don't understand the concepts. As hard as it is to have faith in yourself, it is absolutely necessary if we are ever going to survive the next four years.

That being said, it is also important to not let studies overcome your life, because the crash is not fun. Every now and then an all-nighter is warranted. But I make sure to sleep if I need to sleep, and take a break if I need to take a break. My mental health is more important than a perfect score on an exam. Take care of yourself, and you will be able to take better care of others.

Just a friendly reminder.

Updates

So I know I have been a terrible blogger. I had an entire month off and didn't prepare enough posts to last, and I completely neglected you all over Christmas break. I am very sorry. But a lot has happened, so I will update you:

First of all, I moved! I finally got out of the creepy apartment with the stalker living above me. I moved to a complex right across the street from the school, and one of my best friends is in the same building! I absolutely love it here, and I am glad that I made the choice to spend the money to break my lease and move to a place where I can finally feel safe. I'm on the second floor, and I have a mountain view, and a "lake" view. (You can't convince a native Minnesotan than a man-made pond with a fountain counts as a lake).

View from the patio

Love watching the ducks here

Also, I did my first surgery! I volunteered with the mobile clinic that the school has been running, and I was able to perform a kitten neuter. It was the scariest and most exciting experience. Most of the cats we worked with that day were feral, so I got to utilize my cat wrangling skills. I sedated, examined, shaved, and vaccinated 18 cats and kittens. I also drew blood for FIV testing, a skill that I need some more practice with in the future (sorry kitten veins!). 

Selfie from the mobile clinic

Thanksgiving was really awesome. My childhood friend Josh was here on a business trip, and he extended his trip to spend Thanksgiving with me and the dogs. We ended up going to a classmate's place for Friendsgiving, and everything was delicious. I brought a Minnesota classic: Tater Tot Hotdish. Otherwise known as heaven in a pan. I didn't really do any Black Friday shopping, but I spent the day watching the COPS marathon and relaxing. 

I was excited to go back to my second quarter of vet school at the end of November. This is known as the notoriously hard quarter, and I have to agree. I have never studied so much in my entire life and still have a hard time with the exams. We have six classes: Immunology, Physiology, Anatomy, Practice of Veterinary Medicine, Genetics and Nutrition, and One Health. One Health is basically epidemiology, with a focus on crossing the bridge between human and animal medicine and public health. It is interesting, but sometimes a bit heavy for an 8am class. I think I could be a much better student if classes started around 10am... 

Christmas break came and went. Christmas is never a really happy time for me. I always feel so sad for all of the people and animals who are alone, and this year I almost had to spend it alone. Luckily, my dad was able to come down and we had an awesome time relaxing and watching television. I made a pretty good spread for Christmas dinner, and we stayed in matching pjs all day. I was also kitten sitting for my friend, and the kitten and my dad became best friends right away. 

So in love

Best buds

He's such a teddy bear

I clearly was not the favored babysitter

We had a lovely visit, and one day took a trip up to Sedona. It was a lovely drive, despite the terror of driving on curvy roads with a 75 mph speed limit. We walked around the tourist area and had lunch at a tavern that was fantastic. We are planning on checking out the Grand Canyon when he comes in February. 

Naturally, I was excited to see snow! (True Minnesota girl here)

Although we had a great visit, it was still a weird Christmas. This was the first Christmas that my family wasn't together. Had I been in Minnesota, it still would have been weird since this was the first Christmas after the divorce. Also, my mother recently was diagnosed with breast cancer, so it was incredibly hard for me to not be there for the holidays. Even worse, I couldn't be home for her surgery, and I was so stressed about everything that I ended up failing a genetics exam, which is ridiculous considering I have taken two genetics courses. I'll be really cramming in the study time for the next exam so I can pass the course. 

Even with all of the emotions surrounding the holidays, it was nice to have a bit of a break. However, getting back into the swing of classes was inevitable and I'm currently in the midst of what we are calling HELL WEEK. Three exams, two simulations, an interview, and four writing assignments all due within a seven day period. But such is life of a vet student...and I wouldn't trade it for the world!